Nine Days

I have nine days until I give my little girl to Dr. Adamson and his team of doctors. I have nine more days of my mind spinning out of control. I can only imagine this is how I would have felt had Willa been born on the date of the scheduled c-section.  The times where my mind races are when I'm driving to work in the morning and the middle of the night pumping session. I get lost in my thoughts of the what ifs....

I do have a second distraction besides my own beautiful smiley little daughter and that is Olivia. Now, Olivia has yet to be born. Amy's mom found my blog and we have been corresponding since early January. Olivia also has an omphacele which containes her liver and intestines. Olivia's grand entrance has been scheduled for March 4th in Winston-Salem. I've never met Amy or her husband but I feel like we are family.

Another quick update about another om baby. I posted a news story/video about an om birth in Missouri. Well, baby Hayden went home this weekend after 30 days in the NICU.  I wish all the luck and love to his parents. I loved the NICU at UNC but I will say there is no differentiation between day and night in a NICU.  Those first few days at home can be tough trying to get the baby to sleep when you want to sleep.

Okay, lets bring this all back to my little girl. I have nine more days until we go in for her surgery on the morning of the 27th.  We do have our pre-op appointment with Dr A on the 21st.  I view the closure surgery the same as the birth. We don't know what we will find until we get in there. I'm teetering between concern and worry. I really need to go back and read my post from 9/26/12.

This morning while driving to work I was listening to The Message on my Sirius radio. I caught the end of a song I've never heard before and it really shook me. I can't listen to this entire song being nine days from surgery. I want to...but I can't.

Kutless - "Even If"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqOkZiOb9u0